


Suckers

by diamondgore



Category: Wolverine and the X-Men (Comics), X-Men (Comicverse)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Crying, F/M, Post-Break Up, crying with laughter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-21
Updated: 2018-10-21
Packaged: 2019-08-05 11:19:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16366910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/diamondgore/pseuds/diamondgore
Summary: Idie & Quentin are good people, but they simply never get the timing right.





	Suckers

**Author's Note:**

> Quentin and Idie never get closure I feel. It felt right to write them finally getting it right before Quentin heads off the California and Idie leaves with the O5. This is bending the canon timeline a little bit, but I felt like it was needed.  
> I've been listening to [2 Cigarettes](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VW9URRfumtg) while writing this.

The fairy lights that usually framed Idie’s bed were gone. She had put them away in preparation for her new missions. She knew that being on a team with the X-Men would put her in dangerous situation, and if she died she did not want her death to inconvenience others. So she had decided to take everything she owned down. She would put them all in a neat box underneath her bed, and then if she were to come back, she’d put everything back up. With her mutation she’d most likely survive the experience.

 

This was not to say that she wasn’t excited to finally be on a team again, and a team lead by Cyclops of all people, it was his younger self, but the excitement was still there . Idie was more excited than she had ever been in the previous years, this was finally her chance to prove that she was good. While she had her chances while training with Hope, she still felt like she was being molded into something she was not. The five lights were family, but Idie never felt close enough to them. She always felt there was a distance she couldn’t ever close. 

 

Hopefully now, she would get more freedom to be good, but not in the structured, fill-in-the-blank, way that everyone wanted her to be, or that everyone hoped she’d be. 

 

There was some sort of pressure taken off her chest, knowing that she was able to grow in her own town. There were no mentors there to shape her, just other kids her age. Her years at the Jean Grey School certainly helped, but everything still felt like it was limiting her. She needed to be out there on the field to actually allow herself to let go of everything in her past, and working with Evan would probably help, considering the whole predispositioned to be evil thing.

 

He understood how she felt, even if it was for reasons beyond his control. It was the same in her field. 

 

It made her feel like she belonged more, working with people that others had deemed evil. She could be redeemed if she tried hard enough, God my not hear her prayers but the people around her could help purify her, or something. 

 

Or at least take away the thoughts that made her feel so insecure and dangerous. 

 

She took a deep breath as she folded the last of the lights around her hands and then slipped then into the box. She was glad that she had a room to her own, as she wouldn’t have been able to do any of this with a roommate staring down her back.

 

Although, she wouldn’t have completely minded it if it was a girls she liked, but it simply felt like every girl was her enemy, no matter how hard she tried to befriend them. It was a shame but Idie just chalked up to her edginess, it wasn’t something very familiar. 

 

She got tired from sitting on her knees and instead moved to cross her legs and sit leaning against her dresser. She looked at the seeking and smiled lightly. There was a peace to parting.

 

Letting out a sigh of relief, she was, for the most part, done with packing up her things. She didn’t have that many belongings, and the things that she did own were usually packed & tucked away nearly. 

 

For a brief moment Idie felt at peace, that she was truly on a journey that would lead to her healing. But like all good things, it had to come to an end, and this was done specifically by a rapping at her door. She wanted to feign sleep, but if she truly wanted to change, maybe she should answer her door. 

 

“Who is it?” She asked, not bothering to move from the floor. 

 

“Quentin.” The stranger on the other side answered, and then unlocked the door. “Please don’t be mad?”

 

Quentin was dressed in a blazer, a plain white t-shirt, and denim shorts. His hair was freshly dyed a deep shade of magenta. Clearly, he was going somewhere soon or he would’ve come to her room in pyjamas and halcyon hair. He made her feel terribly underdressed, as she was just in a beige sleeping shirt and matching peach-patterned pyjama pants, but it was nothing that Quentin hadn’t seen her in before. 

 

“Why would I be mad?” She asked bluntly. “Unless you set the school on fire or something.”

 

“Wouldn’t I be your hero then, if I was coming to save you from a fire?”

 

“I wouldn’t calling ‘saving’ if you were the one who set up the fire.” Idie responded. Quentin shifted his weight to his left leg so that he could lean against the door,  causing the bag he was holding in his left hand to crinkle. “Why are you here?”

 

“I guess.” Quentin looked down at the white plastic bag he was holding. “I heard you were leaving with Evan tomorrow. I wanted to like…” Quentin didn’t know how to talk about these things, and he was fairly certain he would never learn. “The way things ended hurt.” 

 

Idie did not want to talk about it either, and she would’ve protested had Quentin given her the chance to speak. 

 

“I know, you don’t want to talk about it. And you kept rejecting my idea for a sushi date so I decided to bring the sushi to you. That way all you really have to do is listen.” Quentin paused, again. “Or you could just eat and I’ll speak into the air like an asshole.” 

 

Idie wasn’t mean, and she wasn’t going to reject free food, especially if Quentin was paying for it. While he might have had poor taste in everything else, Quentin had exquisite taste in sushi. “Do we have to talk? Can’t we eat in silence? I leave in the afternoon tomorrow. We can talk in the morning.” She suggested, motioning for him to walk into the room. 

 

“I’m leaving in the morning.” He retorted. He hated to pull the ‘Surprise I’m jumping ship and abandoning my team!’ card, but there was no easier way than pulling off the bandaid. “I’m moving to California.”

 

“For fun?” She asked, as Quentin sat down on the floor next to her. Part of her was deeply hurt that he hadn’t told her sooner, but truth be told she’d never given him the opportunity to talk. She had been avoiding him constantly. 

 

 He placed the white bag on top of the box that she was packing. She put both of her hands into the bag and began pulling out the assorted boxes of rolls and sushi. There were four boxes and three sets of chopsticks, along with the soy sauce and spicy mayo that Quentin usually doused his avocado rolls in. “Seems a little far.”

 

Quentin shook his head. “I got an offer.” He pulled out a pair of chopsticks from their paper wrapping. He snapped it in half and helped Idie open up the boxes. 

 

“Like a job? Someone is willing to hire you, despite being a terrorist?” 

 

”Haha.” Flat-toned, he clearly wasn’t impressed. “The West Coast Ave--”

 

“You’re joining the Avengers?” She couldn’t hide her disappointment in him, Quentin cringed when she began speaking, he looked at the ground and avoided her deep brown eyes. He knew that he couldn’t look her in the eye anymore. “You do realize it was Captain America that declared you an enemy of the state?” 

 

“I know. But I’m not an X-Man. Kade only freed me because he knew I’d destroy, you guys, the X-Men.” Quentin placed the chopsticks on top of the box. He even began to pick at a stray hangnail. He hated how a child had such control over his sense of being. But Kade was right, Quentin’s only real talent was destroying everything. He’d been trying hard to unlearn it, but he had the opposite of whatever a ‘Golden Touch’ was.“Maybe the Avengers would be a better fit.”

 

Idie had already began eating, placing a salmon roll into her mouth. The sushi, which she knew was from the fancy Sushi place on 32nd, didn’t taste as good. It was still fresh, but it tasted sad.  For some reason, knowing that she wouldn’t be coming back home to Quentin, made her more than what she felt was reasonably upset. 

 

“You’re betraying the X-Men because a twelve year old told you so.” There was no way for Idie to process this without being mean, especially because it was Quentin. “The same twelve year old you saved me from.” 

 

“I’m not a class traitor or some bullshit, Idie.” Quentin responded before grabbing his chopsticks and a tuna nigiri. “I’m not even working with Captain America. Kate Bishop is running this team.” 

 

“Still. You’re leaving us.” Idie said. “If anyone should be abandoning the X-Men, it’s me, you know?” 

 

“Would you miss me? I know you’re going on an adventure with the O5, and Evan...but would you miss me? Will you miss me?” He didn’t want to repeat the question, but he wanted Idie to hear him out. 

 

“Somewhat.” Idie answered, chewing on the end of her chopsticks. He was right about everything ending badly in between them, and the fact that she had specifically avoided talking to him about it. There was no resolution, and she never really hated Quentin, she was simply disappointed with him. It seemed she always was disappointed in him, and that would never change. “Would  _ you _ miss me?” 

 

“With an ass that tight, who wouldn’t?” Quentin said with a smile, trying to lighten the mood. Instead Idie threw one of the napkins from the bag at him. “Timing?” 

 

“Timing.” Idie said with a laugh. 

 

“You know, I actually did like you. If we had this conversation a year ago with you, I would have said that I loved you, still. But I think we were too young to actually feel something that real, or too traumatized. I was just so happy that someone liked me back, the idea that what we had could grow into something that was actually real, scared me so much I had to leave. I wanted to love you but I always scared I was more invested than you were. But we got so close so quickly, it felt like I was flying too close to the sun, and I had to ruin it.” 

 

“We were eighteen. I don’t think we knew what love was. Especially considering you spent a good part of your formative years in a jar.” Idie said sadly. “I have a feeling we still don’t really know what it is.” 

 

“I know our childhoods were fucked up, but I highly doubt we’re not capable of love.” Quentin said, and stuffed two of the shrimp tempura pieces into his mouth. He swallowed them down harshly so that he could continue talking. “I just wish I met you at a different time. If the circumstances were different…”

 

“Don’t.” He would make her cry with his words, if he kept talking out loud. Quentin was always  _ so _ cruel and manipulative with his words. He never really needed to use his telepathy to make others feel bad about themselves. “Dwelling on it won’t make either of us feel any better.” 

 

Quentin wanted to curl up into himself and die right then and there because of how harsh her tone was. He was never good with criticism, and he was never good with being shut down. The fact that he was just so emotionally vulnerable made things so much worse. But she was right, and Quentin wouldn’t admit it. 

 

“Idie…” 

 

“Do you want me to lie to you? If our relationship continued it would have consumed you, it would have consumed me. We don’t know how to do things like regular people, it’s all or nothing with us. We would have never matured as people. I loved you. Is that what you want to hear? How does that make anything better? I loved you the way a child would, not in the way you deserve to be loved” 

 

“I know but don’t you think---” Quentin stopped himself once he saw that Idie had pulled her legs to her chest, closing herself off from him. Body language--he was always bad at reading it but with Idie, he knew how she felt just by looking at her posture. He never had to read her mind. As much as he wanted to lament about their could be future, he knew that it wouldn’t help. “You’re right.”

 

“I  _ hate _ that I’m right.” Idie said, laughing. “Every relationship I’m in, is always a fucking disaster. I hate that I only dated you because you were a ‘bad boy’, I think that caused more damage to your psyche than anything else has in the past two years.” 

 

“I got and lost the Phoenix force in like a week, Idie. That fucked me up more than anything has or ever will. Don’t beat yourself up.” Quentin laughed, trying his hardest not to cry. His life sucked, Idie’s did too, probably, but he was too busy thinking about his own shitty life to feel empathy for her. 

 

“Don’t jinx it. “ She was also thinking about how her life sucked. While she didn’t spend her time in jar, or possessed by a cosmic force, but it also sucked how she was treated as a witch, and almost killed by her tribe. “You never know who’s listening.” 

 

Quentin covered his mouth so that he wouldn’t laugh too loud. His body was shaking from how hard he was laughing about how terrible being an X-man was, how horrific being a mutant was and how he and Idie had suffered at the hands of that. 

 

“I really hope the Avengers gig is less traumatizing than this.” Quentin said through fits of laughter. “Wolverine threatening to kill me really isn’t sexy anymore, especially because it’s not Laura.” 

 

Idie also covered her mouth. “I didn’t even think of how I would suffer on a mission with the OG5 of all people.” Idie felt like she was going to throw up from the laughter. “Oh Evan! Poor Evan! He’s never been on a team before!” 

 

“He’ll be fine, he grew up in a jar. People like us are tough!” Quentin told her. “He’ll be fine!”

 

“Oh, this sucks so much.” Idie needed it, just a ‘woe is me!’ session. She would’ve preferred it would’ve been with someone qualified like a therapist, but Quentin was okay for now. She was only now beginning to let the tears from in the inner corners of her eyes, unlike Quentin who had been crying with laughter for the past few minutes. She shook her head, “This sucks so much.” 

 

“Tell me about it. I’m joining the same people that called me a fuckin’  **terrorist** .” Quentin was sobbing now. He wasn’t laughing anymore. Part of him was glad that he had decided to have one last conversation Idie, but he hated how emotionally raw she left him sometimes. Part of him, still wanted to love her, he looked at her with a softness that he never allowed anyone else. Even when she was crying, her brown eyes were still full with passion that no one could deny. He needed to reach out and hold her in his arms one last time, so that he could dry her tears, or physically comfort her, or something. 

 

If he could, he would kiss her one last time. 

 

“Don’t die on us, when you’re out on the field with the OGs.” Quentin said, wiping tears away from his face, while still crying. “I don’t need anymore damage this year.”

 

“As long as you don’t die on your traitor missions.” Idie said, drying her tears with her shirt. “Be good, okay? Don’t try any of your stupid antics.” 

 

“I’ll try.” Quentin let out a cough to dislodge the mucus in his throat. “As long as you’ll be good too. Don’t try to join the Hell-Fire club or something.” 

 

“I won’t.” Idie gazed up at Quentin. The light from the lamp on her cabinet framed him so beautifully. Quentin was never handsome, as he defied traditional beauty, his acne and his constant skin picking would never allow him to be. But framed in the dim yellow light, made her heart yearn, if only a little bit for, him again. 

 

_ First loves die hard, damn it _ . They didn’t love each other anymore, but they couldn’t deny the lingering what-ifs between them. But they both knew that they had to shut it down, because they simply weren’t compatible--as lovers at the very least. Their pasts, and how deeply their futures were intertwined, so there was still a chance they’d grow to be close friends one day. They would bloom together like dandelions in cracks of concrete. But the conditions right now weren’t the greatest for their friendship. 

 

But one day, they’d be able to put everything behind. 

 

“I’ll be good, if only for you.” Quentin said, putting his hand on top of the box, palm up. Idie looked down, and placed her hand on top of his, squeezing it tightly. Her hands were so cold. 

 

They were good people. Their circumstances were just never right. 

**Author's Note:**

> [find me on tumblr @diamondsynth :)](http://diamondsynth.tumblr.com/) Thanks for reading!


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